| Anaheim Ducks: | Your goalie is quick but ours is fast...h
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| Boston Bruins: | Our goalie is an Islander?
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| Buffalo Sabres: | We're half Canadian.. o... canadaa..
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| Calgary Flames: | tHE sNoW
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| Carolina Hurricanes: | Searching for the missing Staal.
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| Chicago Blackhawks: | Cover photo- Patrick Sharp's face. Caption- What on earth is losing?
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| Colorado Avalanche: | Landeskogging 24/7
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| Columbus Blue Jackets: | We know he's good but you're giving us 3 for one. Trade.
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| Dallas Stars: | We're only the 173rd team he's been on.
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| Detroit Redwings: | One does not simply poke check Pavel Datsyuk.
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| Edmonton Oilers: | We know animals are not allowed to play he is NOT a horse.
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| Florida Panthers: | No, sorry wrong stadium. this is not the baseball game.
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| Los Angeles Kings: | Peace, Sass, and SoCal.
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| Minnesota Wild: | Who aRe WE
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| Montreal Canadiens: | We like our cakes with tons of icing
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| Nashville Predators: | We carved our name into his leather seats.
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| New Jersey Devils: | Dada daaaaaa da HEY, YOU SUCK.
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| New York Islanders: | No, Brooklyn Hipsters.
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| New York Rangers: | No, everyone is here. No that's ACTUALLY everyone that can play.
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| Ottawa Senators: | We won with half our team (everyone minus Karlsson and Spezza)
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| Philadelphia Flyers: | The universe.
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| Phoenix Coyotes: | The ice is melting. Save us.
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| Pittsburgh Penguins: | Number 87. 87. Crosby. Sid. 87. No. 87. Crosby.
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| San Jose Sharks: | What if our skate pops the inflatable shark
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| St. Louis Blues: | Missouri? What? WHy?
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| Tampa Bay Lightning: | It's 90 degrees outside.
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| Toronto Maple Leafs: | Why are you calling us the Maple Laughs? No that's not our name.
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| Vancouver Canucks: | Runner up 572 years in a row.
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| Washington Capitals: | We will all get Ovechkins face tattooed on our lower backs hashtag alexander da gr8
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| Winnipeg Jets: | Justin Bieber. |