• Anaheim Ducks: Your goalie is quick but ours is fast...h
  • Boston Bruins: Our goalie is an Islander?
  • Buffalo Sabres: We're half Canadian.. o... canadaa..
  • Calgary Flames: tHE sNoW
  • Carolina Hurricanes: Searching for the missing Staal.
  • Chicago Blackhawks: Cover photo- Patrick Sharp's face. Caption- What on earth is losing?
  • Colorado Avalanche: Landeskogging 24/7
  • Columbus Blue Jackets: We know he's good but you're giving us 3 for one. Trade.
  • Dallas Stars: We're only the 173rd team he's been on.
  • Detroit Redwings: One does not simply poke check Pavel Datsyuk.
  • Edmonton Oilers: We know animals are not allowed to play he is NOT a horse.
  • Florida Panthers: No, sorry wrong stadium. this is not the baseball game.
  • Los Angeles Kings: Peace, Sass, and SoCal.
  • Minnesota Wild: Who aRe WE
  • Montreal Canadiens: We like our cakes with tons of icing
  • Nashville Predators: We carved our name into his leather seats.
  • New Jersey Devils: Dada daaaaaa da HEY, YOU SUCK.
  • New York Islanders: No, Brooklyn Hipsters.
  • New York Rangers: No, everyone is here. No that's ACTUALLY everyone that can play.
  • Ottawa Senators: We won with half our team (everyone minus Karlsson and Spezza)
  • Philadelphia Flyers: The universe.
  • Phoenix Coyotes: The ice is melting. Save us.
  • Pittsburgh Penguins: Number 87. 87. Crosby. Sid. 87. No. 87. Crosby.
  • San Jose Sharks: What if our skate pops the inflatable shark
  • St. Louis Blues: Missouri? What? WHy?
  • Tampa Bay Lightning: It's 90 degrees outside.
  • Toronto Maple Leafs: Why are you calling us the Maple Laughs? No that's not our name.
  • Vancouver Canucks: Runner up 572 years in a row.
  • Washington Capitals: We will all get Ovechkins face tattooed on our lower backs hashtag alexander da gr8
  • Winnipeg Jets: Justin Bieber.
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